You make me want to hit walls
by stevieLUVSAlex
Summary: After Bren tells Booth she feels regret, he goes home and thinks about it. It isn't as it seems. His thoughts are all over the place. I promise a fluffy ending! Its worth a shot, I promise!
1. Ridding Hannah

_A/N: I have seen MANY FF's now about Bones confessing that she missed her chance with Booth, but I haven't seen the episode. Aussies are STILL waiting for the sunglasses episode, and won't get it till' next year, so… forgive me if I made a mistake. I wanted to take this FF in a slightly different direction to everyone else, but someone else MAY have already done it, so… anyways, just messing around, this is what I got. =) _

Booth bawled his hand into a fist, clenching it tight and then releasing it. His gaze lingered on the TV screen, but if asked what he was watching, he would have had a blank answer. He didn't know. His eyes remained on the pixel images, but his mind was elsewhere. He was thinking about his partner… his friend… _his_ Bones, the woman he had loved for six years, the one he tried desperately to get over, and when he had convinced himself he had, by bringing back Hannah Burley from Afghanistan, Brennan decided to throw him a curve ball.

The last thing Booth needed was an excuse to fall back into old habits. He had done well without her; he had found a measure of happiness, no matter how small. And this was how she repaid him, telling him she had made a mistake, that she'd missed her chance with him.

Booth was livid.

What right did she have to tell him this now, when for six years he had been giving her opportunities left, right and centre, why now when he had accepted that she was never going to love him back, did she offer him hope?

He snatched the glass of scotch by his recliner, in the corner of the lounge room, and gulped down half a glass of the liquid. It ran hot down his throat.

"You okay?" Hannah asked from the couch.

He met her eyes across the room, and felt guilty, that emotion was quickly followed by anger as he turned his gaze back to the TV screen. He hadn't even done anything wrong. He had nothing to feel guilty about. He was angry, no, he was beyond angry, he was furious.

Booth chose not to answer Hannah's question, worried he would take out his frustration on her. She didn't deserve that, and Booth didn't trust himself to remain calm and collected, not when his mind was echoing the words of his partner.

_I missed my chance…_

Maybe she had, he reasoned. Maybe waiting for six years, was a sign that they weren't meant to be. Booth wished that he didn't care about Brennan anymore, at least that way. He wished that her feelings didn't matter to him, and that as she wallowed in self-pity about the choices she made, she knew that it was her own fault. But maybe it hadn't been, maybe Booth had been too quick to let her go. _No_, he told himself, _I waited six long damn years for her to see me._ He forced himself to look at Hannah, but he looked away again before she could meet his eyes. He wished that he could look at Hannah and know that she wasn't a mistake. That his feelings for Brennan would pass, that being with Hannah gave him the same joy as being with Brennan, _his_ Bones.

But he was kidding himself. He couldn't even convince himself falsely of that.

Booth gulped down another scotch, but his purpose of riding the thoughts in his head, were in vain. The remained stubbornly, torturing him.

Booth shook his head to himself and stood from the recliner.

"I have to go out," he announced unable to look Hannah in the eye.

She tried desperately to catch his gaze, but he refused, fearful of what she might discover if she saw the emotion in his eyes, or lack of as the case might be.

"Where?" she demanded. "It's late… and you can't drive, you've had too much to drink!"

He felt his anger boil to the surface, and he couldn't stop himself. "Don't tell me what to do!" his words came out harsher than he intended. Ordinarily, he could control his outbursts. But he drink had somewhat lowered the control of his speech.

Hannah challenged him. "It's her, isn't it?" it was not an accusation as much as it was a statement. "That's where you're going… to see, Temperance?"

The name made him wince.

"Yes," he told her bluntly. "I have to tell her something."

"What?"

"Just…" he shook his head. _That she was a pain in the… whatever the scientific word for rear end was she was a pain in THAT. _"I just have to go…" he finished. He headed for the door.

"Seeley!" she called.

He turned back.

"If you love me, you won't go…" she pleaded.

Well, that just made Booth feel even worse. He dropped his tense shoulders, and stared her in the face. "I wish I could see…" he struggled to find the words. "I wish I knew how to make you…"

"I understand," she nodded sadly.

He didn't think she did.

"I'll be gone by the time you get back," she announced. "I don't have much to pack. I'll leave the key on the table, and… for however long it lasted, I did enjoy what we had, Seeley. I did."

"Me too," he said. He meant it. He had enjoyed her for a while, in those times when he had convinced himself that she would make him happy. But he knew now, that as long as Brennan felt something, that's where he _had_ to be. Like a compulsion. Like two halves of a whole.

"Drive safe," she warned.

Booth nodded. "I will, I promise."

He didn't kiss her goodbye, knowing that this was the last time he'd see her face, he didn't embrace her with a hug and tell her he was sorry, like he should have. It would have only angered Hannah, because he was still going to her, he was leaving his life with Hannah Burley for something he knew he wanted more.

One last glance at her, and he turned and walked out.

_This was gonna be a one-shot but now it's a two. Haven't done a B&B one in a few weeks, so… and remember I haven't seen the CAR episode as people refer to it. So if I made a mistake there, feel free to point it out. _

_As for the next chapter, what will Booth do now, how will he approach Bones, care to guess?_


	2. Hitting walls

_A/N: Thank you for the response to this story… here is the fluffy happiness that we all need at the moment. =) Not that I need to mention how HATED HH is right now. But at least the U.S has nothing to complain about, while you guys only have to wait until January, the rest of us have to wait until February or later, and we are still waiting for the SUNGLASSES episode here in Australia… _

_Anyways… onto the story! =) _

Booth did drive carefully. He drove slowly, as his mind buzzed a million miles a minute, trying to come up with something to say to her when he saw her. But he came up empty. He had nothing. Nothing but a vague hope of a bright future with a woman he had longed for since as long as he could remember, his life before Brennan seemed wasted, except for Parker.

He pulled the SUV up to the curb, and stepped out of the car. He climbed the steps to her front door, and knocked loudly, almost hoping to wake her. She deserved it, as far as he was concerned. Just thinking about her now, made him crazy. It had literally torn him apart when she had cried in the car, after he had told her Hannah was no consolation prize, he had never seen that amount of emotion spill out of her in one sitting, not to him… not about him. She had cried for him, he knew that, but it hurt him just as much to say it as it did for her to hear it. But he had to say it, he had to make her feel some form of the pain he had lived through for six years, even if it were only for a moment.

When silence echoed through the house, he knocked again, more persistent this time. Finally, he heard footsteps faintly up the hallway, and then louder. The lock on the door clicked, and the door opened.

She stood before him, looking slightly disoriented; her hair messed up from sleep. It took a moment to register who it was.

"Booth…" she whispered gripping the edge of the door as if it might protect her from him, or to hold herself up on her unsteady feet.

He was shaking his head. "This is unacceptable, Bones! All this crap you gave me about missing your chance!"

She stepped back as if he had slapped her, her fingers still grasping the door.

"Let me in!" he demanded.

Brennan thought about it, before she reluctantly stepped aside, to let him in. She seemed to have no more fight in her. He was the one who closed the door behind him. He stalked into the loungeroom, and flopped down on the couch, making himself at home. "SIT!" he ordered pointing to the empty space on the couch beside him.

Brennan didn't move.

"Sit down Bones!" he repeated.

She sat down, edging closer to the arm rest than to him.

"What right did you have…" he muttered running a hand through his hair. "I was happy with Hannah… at least I thought I was. Why did you have to wreck that, Bones?"

"I'm sorry," she offered playing with her hands. "I never meant to…" her voice was low and apologetic.

"You should be sorry!" he snapped. "I waited for you for six damn years and then I finally move on and you lay this crap on me. What do you want from me, Bones?"

Brennan avoided eye contact. "I don't know," she admitted.

"You make me want to hit walls," he stated through clenched teeth.

When he looked at her, he found a tear rolling down her cheek. He hung his head in shame. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, he wasn't supposed to be unhappy that she had admitted to having some regrets about him, regrets about not giving them a chance. He should have been overjoyed. He should have been kissing her, not yelling at her. He should have been making love to her, instead of sitting on the couch with pent-up anger.

Her eyes reminded him of being back in the car, and it pricked his heart somewhat.

"Why are you here?" she asked meeting his gaze. "Did you just come over here to yell at me?"

As his eyes locked on hers his anger seemed to evaporate. "I was angry," he admitted soberly. "I needed to tell you that. I needed to tell you that you were being unfair."

"I was," she agreed. "I know that. I know I never gave you a chance, and that was my fault. I understand that you moved on with Hannah, but Booth, I-"

"You what?" he whispered touching his cheek.

She closed her eyes at the feel of his touch, and he saw the pain flash across her face. He dropped his hand into his lap.

"I don't know how to keep it inside anymore," she said. "I tried. I put all my energy into work, and into being happy for you and Hannah, but inside I was- I had feelings or resentment, regret, anger, and a bitterness I didn't understand. I just…"

"You were jealous," he stated.

"Jealous?" she asked.

"Yeah, Bones, it's an emotion you feel when you envy something that's not yours."

Brennan seemed to think about that. "Yes, I was jealous," she nodded.

"I waited for you for six years, Bones… it was a long and painful six years. I moved on. I told you I had to, or I'd be pinning over you for the rest of my life. I didn't want to be that guy, Bones. I couldn't."

"I know."

"So why now?" he asked gently. "Why are you telling me all this now?"

She thought about her answer. "I left for the Maluku Islands because I needed to gain perspective, every choice I made previously, every time I conversed, every time I needed to make a decision, it was tied to you. If you weren't a component, then I didn't want it. I couldn't make a decision, on my own anymore, Booth. It was like we were already in a relationship. It scared me."

"It scared me, too," he confessed. "But I didn't run."

"You are a man of strength and courage Booth," she smiled weakly. "An admirable quality,"

Booth sighed.

"Where's Hannah?" she asked.

He lifted his eyes to her. "She left me. I was coming to see you, and she forced me to make a choice. I made one."

"You chose me?" she asked, a hint of hope in her tone.

"Of course I did," he snapped as if it were an obvious answer.

"But you said she wasn't a consolation prize," Brennan recalled all too well. The sting of his words had cut her deep. She'd shown emotion she usually kept herself, emotion she trapped within the walls of her heart, unwilling to share. But for some reason, she couldn't hold it back. She remembered his impassive expression, the harshness of his tone. _I love her_… he'd said. How could she be sure now that this was the right choice for him? "You said you…" she couldn't bring herself to say the words aloud, he had never said the words to Brennan, every time he asked her for a chance, he had never expressed that strong emotion in those words.

"I know," he nodded. "I said and I meant it. But there is different kind of love, Bones, and the love I have for you is unconditional, it's never ending, Bones, the love I feel for you is real. Nothing can break that, not another woman, not time or distance… nothing, do you hear me?"

She nodded. "I'm sorry," she said.

"Yeah, you probably are."

"I am," she confirmed.

"I'm not," he said. It was why he felt so guilty. It was why he was so angry with Brennan. It was why Hannah had walked away. He couldn't deny his heart anymore. He couldn't deny her. He shifted closer to her on the couch, and she seemed to tense. "Don't you dare…" he warned.

"What?" her voice trembled with terror.

"Don't you deny me now, not after all this," he demanded.

Brennan seemed to struggle with herself. "I… I don't want to… I don't want to make a mistake, Booth. I don't want to lose what we had," she told him.

He shrugged indifferently. "Tough! We lost it already, Bones. It's gone… but if you trust me this time _really_ trust me, we can be better than before. We can have it all… you and me," he promised.

"I trust you," she confirmed.

"You do?"

She nodded firmly. "I do."

He smiled at her choice of words, and instantly pictured her in a white gown. _One step at a time, big-boy,_ he heard Angela's voice warn him._ If you rush her, she'll run. _"Prove it."

Brennan frowned. "How?"

"Kiss me!" he ordered.

There was a long pause, and for a moment Booth thought she was going to run. But slowly, she shifted over; bridging the gap between them, and her hand gripped the material of his t-shirt. He found his hands wondering to her waist, and inching her closer still. Her eyes lingered on his lips a moment before moving her gaze to his eyes.

Booth smiled. "Kiss me," he whispered.

Her lip quivered as she leaned closer to him, kissing his cheek at first, edging her way closer to his mouth, until he couldn't stand the suspense a moment longer, and forced her chin up with the tip of his index finger, meeting her lips with his own in a passionate explosion.

"I love you," she murmured against his mouth.

He pulled back, a smile forming on his lips. "Did you just say…?"

"I love you," she repeated. "In all the ways, you said. I do. I love you."

Booth kissed her again, and again, and again until they were both laughing.

"I love you back…" he said.

Brennan nodded. "I know,"

Booth wrinkled his nose, and pulled an arm around her shoulders, folding her into his arms. She seemed to fit perfectly, like completed puzzle, like two halves of a whole.

Just like a fairytale, he got the girl.

_This is what happens to me when I haven't seen new episodes of Bones in months! The moon turned to blood, it started raining frogs and I completely lost it… so come on, honesty here… was it horribly lovely?_

_=)_


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